Stop Deciding - Start Choosing

There is often, if not always, tension in decisions.

When we think about big moments in our working lives, we often reflect back on decisions as the marker and lasting artifact of those times.

…the job I decided to take.

…the direction I decided for the team.

…the person I decided to hire.

And if you are a leader, part of your responsibility is to make decisions, often with impact that goes well beyond your domain and team. It’s baked into the job description no matter what.

But making decisions is hard!

No matter your experience, earned wisdom and internal confidence, decisions can feel heavy and hard to move through. Our innate human nature kicks in at inopportune times and brings along smatterings of fear and risk aversion. There’s a persistent element of uncertainty, especially when the context is shifting or foggy. Our emotions can take the lead, relegating our rational and data-informed minds to observers rather than drivers.

What’s worse is this; paying the price of perfectionism. We put ourselves in a self-imposed headlock that we need to get the decision right. Not just some of the time…but everytime! We always have to make the best decision, right?

In recent coaching experiences, I’ve been offering a reframe on this persistent problem.

Stop deciding.

Instead, start making choices.

Here’s the context on this reframe.

The world of design thinking, as led by my guides Bill Burnett and Dave Evans from Designing Your Life, offers us this powerful shift of mindset and approach on the topic of decisions:

“There is never a best decision, but there is always the opportunity to choose well.”

This is where the burden lives. We load up decisions that have to be pristine, perfect, and untouchable. WE HAVE TO MAKE THE BEST DECISION thunders endlessly in our heads and then becomes externalized in how we speak and frame the challenge to the people around us. Those people, the ones we are charged to lead, feel and sense that burden. It can be such a limiter to confidence and conviction for the future.

We can move beyond that.

Beyond the Dave and Bill wisdom, here’s another challenge that I observe.

The word “decision” often guides us to binary situations and a pressure point between only two options. We introduce the dangerous word “or” and then we create an antagonistic situation between two options that never should be put in opposition to one another. I hear this in coaching conversations all the time. It creates a winner/loser scenario that doesn’t always lead to making a great call. It manufactures scarcity. Should I stay or should I go? Should I choose the fast option or the cheap option? Should I go with the short-term win or invest in the long-term solution? None of these are winning conditions.

When we make the declaration to choose and embrace this reframe, then we open up options. We can put three or more (but not too many) ideas up for consideration, and then we make a thoughtful and informed choice based on those options. That’s how designers think. And we all have much to learn from designers. ;)

By making the intention to choose, rather than carry the burden of deciding, we feel a sense of liberation. It opens up our futures and has an emotional wave of empowerment. When teams make choices, it creates a generative environment for the whole group that builds personal accountability and commitment.

It’s just so much better.

But if you find yourself in a situation where you have only identified two options and have to make a decision, here’s an interesting approach from one of the world’s coolest humans, Rick Rubin. In his most mind-blowing book The Creative Act, Rubin talks about an ultra-creative approach to choosing between two equally compelling options - flip a coin. Assign one choice as heads and the other choice as tails. When the coin lands on the ground, you’ll have an immediate visceral and emotional response to the outcome. If you like and feel relief in the decision the coin made for you, then you’ll know you’re making a good choice and you do what the coin tells you. If you immediately feel a sense of fear and anxiety on the decision the coin made from you, then it’s your body and gut telling you to choose the option on the other side of the coin.

I tried it recently, and I’ll tell you it worked out pretty damn well. It showed me what I needed to make my choice.

So the offer is to remove the burden of decisions. Cast away the baggage and toll they take, and instead take the path of making a choice. You can never make the best decision, but you can always choose well.